Wednesday, March 04, 2009

A View of All Head and No Brain



We've got some rocket scientists among us.

Like the Detroit firefighter who learned the hard way that leaving a towel over a lamp and incense lit unsupervised while out on a call was not smart. He and his unit came back from putting out a fire to find their station on fire. They would've put out the fire themselves, but they did not have an engine - it had been decommissioned due to budget cuts. The station - including our rocket scientist's bible, incense, and lamp - was a total loss.

Or the bus driver in D.C. who thought it would be "funny" to beat up McGruff the Crime Dog. D.C. Police officer Tyrone Hardy (who undoubtedly drew the short straw during morning report) was in the McGruff costume passing out fliers to children on a northwest Washington street corner last Saturday afternoon when bus driver Shawn Brim, 38, rolled up on the scene. He stepped out of his bus, adjusted his sideview mirrors, then punched McGruff in the face. Officer Hardy never saw the punch coming because the costume's head blocked a clear view. As Officer Hardy reeled from the sucker punch, and the children on the scene and the passengers on his bus screamed and yelled at him (oh yeah, forgot to mention he was on the city clock - just like Officer Hardy), he hopped back into the driver's seat and drove off. Officer Hardy was fine, only suffering a swollen right cheek. Brim, who's been arrested in the past for PCP possession, prostitution, and gun possession was later arrested and charged with simple assault.

What about Jeff Eldridge of West Virginia's Lincoln County? He's decided that his state should celebrate Barbie's 50th anniversary on March 9th by kicking her out of town. Mr. Eldridge's bass ackwardness has a basis in logic. He feels toys like Barbie dolls influence girls to place too much of an emphasis on physical beauty at the expense of their intellectual and emotional development. "I knew a lot of people were going to joke about it and poke fun at me," he said. None of his fellow delegates would sign on the bill with him, but he pledged to go forward with the bill. Good luck with that. I'm sure the citizens of West Virginia are grateful he's concentrating on a parent's right to buy a toy and not frivolous nonsense like crime, economy, or court reform in the state. I'm just sayin'....

More later, but not before I leave the last word to someone who can sum up my thoughts on all of this a lot better than I ever could.

UPDATE: Barbie's going to rock a tramp stamp this spring, y'all. Now I understand why they don't want her in West Virginia. Nobody gets inked up there because it cuts in on precious tanning booth time.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Detroit City Council is working overtime to show the world that they are without a doubt the dumbest, most embarassing governing body in the world with their antics at their meeting this evening. The previous title holder has some work to do to catch up.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous BB said...

That story made headlines countrywide. Lol your local jakes are the brunt of jokes. Poor people of Detroit.

9:12 PM  
Blogger TEM said...

I never thought I'd be ashamed to be a Detroiter. Then again, I never thought my fellow Detroiters would be dumb enough to support the jackasses we have as "leaders." And boy did they show their asses in council chambers today. Breaking into "Onward Christian Soliders" during the meeting? Really? This is why we can't have nice things. And if this is God wants in his army, then I'm so glad I'm an atheist.

Hope things are more sane in your neck of the woods. Thanks as always for reading. If you ever want to chat, look me up on Facebook or send me an e-mail.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous BB said...

Cool

6:01 PM  

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