Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A View Of A Small (Online) World

I recently decided to post an ad on an online dating site. Again. I've tried this about three times now, and each time has been decidedly underwhelming. While I haven't met anyone with whom a relationship was a feasible possibility, I have gotten a couple of pretty good stories out of the experience. I told you one already - the one about the guy who equated Thai food with golddigging. The other one just played out over the past couple of days.

I was on the phone with my girlfriend last night, and the topic turned to our online ads. She asked if I'd had very many responses. I told her I've only received three so far. Two of them were duds - they sent introductory e-mails but never replied to my response - and the other seemed promising at first but fizzled out. I recapped what had happened.

He sent a kind e-mail saying he liked my ad ("I've been hoping to meet someone like you on here"), and that he'd like to get in touch. We exchanged a couple of e-mails and he seemed like a nice person, so I asked him to give a call. We had a couple of phone calls, where he told me more about himself. He worked afternoons, so it was hard to meet "quality people," he said. He'd just gotten divorced, didn't like the bar scene, and just wanted to meet "someone nice, someone serious." He thought smart women were "a turn-on," and preferred an "independent woman with her own life," especially with his work schedule. He gave me his cell number and told me to call him "anytime, day or night."

On our last call, he asked if I'd had many responses. I told him no, and mentioned the tendency of the ones who did respond to disappear after that first contact. Don't worry about them, he said, and focus on him - "a quality man." I asked him about his responses, but he never really answered the question. He instead asked when we could meet in person. I told him that it would at least a week because I had committed myself to a full volunteer schedule at the radio station. He then remarked that he thought my "busy schedule" might prevent me from having a relationship. I told him that wasn't the case - I keep an active schedule, but there's always time for friends and that I would only be really busy for a few days. The call ended with him telling me to call him "anytime," that we'd make a date to get together and that he thought I was someone "worth meeting." I haven't heard from him since. I called twice and sent an e-mail to say hello. No response. I figured that he decided he wasn't interested and moved on or was just looking for a quickie.

When I finished my story, my girlfriend asked, "His ad wouldn't happen to be 'Phony Baloney - The One and Only,' would it?"

(* - Please note: The online ad name has been changed to protect the identity of someone who really deserves to be called out for his inexcusable behavior.)

"That's the one. You got him, too?" I laughed out loud, and so did she.

It's a small dating world out there, isn't it?

This guy had pulled the same thing with her, using almost the same words verbatim. He even called to set up a date, telling her he'd call back with a meeting place once he took a shower and changed clothes. He called back - two months later asking, "What happened? I never heard back from you." When she called him on his behavior, he said he had to go and disappeared again.

Online dating may not be getting me much success romantically, but the stories more than make up for my lack of success through the entertainment value alone.

More to come later.


Blogger Lex Fori said...

Ah - that's fucking comedy. Gotta watch it with those guys....

Although, for really good humor, try posting a "looking for a Sugar Daddy" post on Craigslist. Did it once in college, ah, hillarious the things men will offer.

12:50 PM  
Blogger TEM said...

I like that idea because I'll probably keep attracting the same nutjobs the dating site is bringing my way, except it'll be at no charge.

Can you believe I'm paying to meet these folks?

8:00 PM  

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