Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A View of Maintaining A Healthy Level of Insanity

This "Pearls Before Swine" strip is apropos of nothing. I just think it's hilarious.

This is an internet classic, but I have to post this because this blog has been so damn serious lately.

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom in your office. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask, "Do you want fries with that?"

4. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. In the "Memo" field of all your checks write, "For Marijuana."

6. Skip down a busy hallway rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-through order is to go.

9. Sing along at the opera.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

11. When your money comes out of the ATM, jump up and down and scream, "I Won! I Won!"

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY'RE LOOSE!"

13. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."

14. At the pharmacy, pick up a box of condoms and ask the clerk where the fitting room is.

More later, because they're coming to take me away.

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Blogger The Old Man said...

I should have taken a look at that comic strip FIRST. Text is more important, I think.

That "last one to let you down" is an old joke -- a "Digger O'Dell" joke. Check the old "Fibber Magee and Molly" radio shows.

Well, for he so often said: "I must be shoveling off."

11:25 AM  
Blogger TEM said...

I'll have to check that out. I love those classic old jokes and shows. Here's a link to a hilarious song by Bert "Cowardly Lion" Lahr that I think you'll love.

2:47 PM  
Blogger The Old Man said...

Found out it wasn't Fibber Magee and Molly. more like an old Jackie Gleason Show.Life of Riley, That's it. "What a revolting developement this is!"

12:52 AM  
Blogger The Old Man said...

The only problem with YOUTUBE videos is that they never load for me. I don't have high-speed, I have Dial up. Boy, talk about being a dinosaur...I was using a 300 baud modem when it was chich to have 2400. I used 2400 when 26.4K was in vogue. Heck, I didn't even use 14.4K until 33.6 was available.

11:32 PM  

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