A View of Love is a Battlefield

I wonder if the justices on the California Supreme Court, who are hearing arguments regarding an appeal of Proposition 8 which banned gay marriage, are fans of "The Bachelor."

If they are, then they have to be aware of the raging controversy about Jason Mesnick's decision to dump one love match for another. On national TV. Maybe it was about love, maybe it was about ratings, maybe the two concepts were (ahem) married - albeit unhappily - in his mind and he was just confused. ABC, the network that airs the show, also feel a bit used and rejected because they swear they weren't in on or influenced his decision.

Whatever the case, he's now made his choice and is now free to live happily ever after with his new love. (For the record, happily ever after for the average "Bachelor" is less than a year.)


Love is a battlefield. If the justices on the California Supreme Court didn't know that before, then should know it now if they watched "The Bachelor" at all this week. I'm betting the roughly 1,000 people who protested in front of the San Francisco Civic Center Plaza, some who showed up as early as 5:00 a.m. , know this. I'm betting the dozens who lined up outside of the California Supreme Court building this morning to get a seat in chambers to hear the court challenge to Proposition 8 know this. I'm sure La Kia Hammond, and her former partner, who had to fight for the right to divorce all the way to New Jersey's Superior Court, and the other woman Ms. Hammond now wants to marry knows this.

If we can tolerate and accept a show that turns the concept of love and marriage into a game show; if we can view a man - with a child in tow (interesting how nobody's talking about the impact of all this on his son) - can use network television to humiliate one woman in the name of love for another; if we can encourage the humiliated woman to turn around and go on another TV show and repeat the process; and if we can accept the concept of a show with a disastrous record of matchmaking as the current standard of love, marriage, and happily ever after; then why can't we accept the fact that couples who are willing to fight as hard and as long as they can for love deserve the right to marry? What those couples do in their bedrooms is a moot point. Whether or not those relationships last is a moot point - especially in the light of the tempest in a teapot that is "The Bachelor."

Love is a battlefield. To deny a chance at a legally sanctioned happily ever after to a group of people because we don't like what they do is the equivalent of a fixed fight - and that's unfair. I hope the justices on California's Supreme Court watched the people fighting for their civil rights and do the right thing, rather than watch a fixed fight on a reality TV show.

More later, and let's keep fighting the good fight.

A View of Try, Try Again

I married twice and divorced twice. It's nothing that I'm proud of, but it is what it is. I also know that it's an experience I have no desire to go through again. Emotionally drain me once, shame on you. Emotionally drain me twice, shame on me.

At least I think that's how that saying goes.

Anyway, I came across a story about a woman who has a different viewpoint on marriage. Linda Lou Wolfe first married in 1957 when she was 16 years old. Her husband was 31 years old. They stayed married for seven years. She picked herself up after her divorce, dusted herself off, and started all over again.

Twenty-two more times.

That's not a typo. The former Linda Lou Taylor has been married 23 times, making her the most married woman in history. Her first marriage lasted the longest. Her shortest marriage lasted 36 hours. Her last marriage was a publicity stunt. She married Glynn "Scotty" Wolfe in 1996. He was the the most married man in the world at the time. She was his 29th bride. Their marriage lasted just under a year. They didn't divorce, though. He died a few days before their anniversary.

She's been married to a convict, a preacher, homeless men (yes, men - plural), you name it. She's been abused by one husband and cheated on and deserted by others. She says she doesn't even remember the order of her marriages. Still she says she wouldn't hesitate to marry again "because, you know, (life) gets lonely."

I understand being lonely, but after a while I'd think it's easier to just get a cat (or three) and a hobby. Reading about her made me a bit curious about marriages. Are there any couples out there who not only stay together, but are willing to marry each other again if given the chance?

Turns out there's one couple who love each other so much, they've remarried each other 83 times. Lauren and David Blair have renewed their vows all over the world. Their last renewal was in 2004 in Las Vegas. "We love telling each other we love each other and looking into each other's eyes and saying our vows," David is quoted as saying.

Something about all that love makes my tummy hurt. Still, I give them credit for wanting to be together as much as they seem to. I came across a story about how some divorced couples have no other choice in the current economic climate but stay together. They don't like it, but they make it work.

Talk about life getting lonely. Somehow they persevere. If at first you don't succeed in getting by, try, try again I suppose.

More later after being thankful for three cats, my sanity, and not having to live like the Roses.