Friday, October 24, 2008

A View Of The Choice Is Yours

A wise man once said, "You can get with this or you can get with that."

Guess which one I'm getting with?



Click here to learn more about "that one."

That's right. I'm voting for that one. You may make a different choice and that's cool. One of the wonderful things about living here in the US of A is the freedom of choice - even ones that aren't necessarily the best.

Anyway, I got an e-mail today that talked about how to maintain composure on November 5th if the rest of the country chooses to go with "That One." No matter what your choice may be, you have to admit this "November 5th Etiquette" list is funny as hell.

Good Morning My People.

After watching the final debate the other night, it dawned on me that Obama could actually win this thing. If that happens, there will be a lot of people (some of our co-workers included) who will be afraid that an Obama presidency will usher in the end of days. They'll be watching us on November 5th (the day after the election) for signs of the end times. To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid - at least for the first few days:

1. No crying, hugging or shouting, "Thank you, Lord!" - at least not in public.
2. No high-fives - at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses.
3. No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters.
4. No calling in sick on November 5th. They'll get nervous if too many of us don't show up.
5. We're allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.
6. No singing loudly, "
We've Come This Far By Faith." It will be acceptable to hum softly.
7. No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week. (No chitterlings at all - this may make us seem too ethnic.)
8. No leaving
Kool-Aid packages at the water fountain. (This might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a breakthrough.)
9. No "
Cupid Shuffle" during breaks. (This could indicate a little too much excitement.)
VFTT Note: There's no official word on whether the "
Obama Shuffle" is acceptable.
10. Please, no "
Moving On Up" music - we are going to try to remain humble.
VFTT Note: There's no official word on whether "
We're A Winner" is acceptable.
11. No doing the
George Jefferson dance - unless you're in your office with the door closed.
12. Please try not to yell----BOOOO YAH!
13. Just in case you're wondering, doing the
Running Man, Cabbage Patch, or a backhand spring on the highway is 100% ok.*

If I've missed anything feel free to add to the list. I just want to make sure we're all on the same page when Obama brings this thing home on November 5th. Please add to the list and forward if you like.

14. Everybody, just act like you did after O.J. was acquitted.
VFTT Note: You know, maybe we should just leave any O.J. references out of the Obama campaign. Let's just pretend that O.J. doesn't even exist.
15. Everyone, don't breakout with the
Electric Slide in the middle of the office....*
VFTT Note: The Electric Slide is
over 30 years old? And under U.S. copyright? And registered with the Library of Congress? Really?
16. It will be acceptable to play, “
Head of State” in the office break room as long as you don’t hunch a McCain supporter and say, “Bet that brings back memories, huh?” during this scene.
17. It is acceptable to give people copies of “Head of State” as an Election Day gift. It is not acceptable to use or give people a bootleg copy of “Head of State” that you bought from Pookie or Ne-Ne down the street.
18. In reference to #13, you may do the Running Man, Cabbage Patch or even Raise the Roof. You may not, however, do any of them in combination. It’s okay to be joyful, but even
Hammer doesn’t do all these moves in combination any more.

*VFTT Note: Give the links in #13 and #15 about a minute to get to the good stuff. Trust me, it's worth it.

I added #16-18 to the list. Feel free to put any additions you have in the comments section, but behave. Any comment that's rude, vulgar or has me saying, "Oh hell no!" won't get posted.

More later, after you get with this, or better yet get with that.

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